Do you and your partner ever fight about money?
Because it’s such a common issue today I’m going to talk about what’s behind fights over money and HOW to resolve them.
Over 70% of divorces are the result of conflicts over money.
If you or your partner is an entrepreneur then it’s even more likely, especially if the business is not consistently profitable.
The biggest problem is that people get positional and seeing their parter as “wrong”, sometimes even as “the enemy”!
When you’re together you HAVE to act like partners and have position of “we”, NOT “me”. If you’re married then you’re legally and financially bound to each other which means that you ARE partners whether or not you feel that way.
To collaborate you have to understand WHERE your partner is coming from.
Their experience of money. Their rationale. Their triggers.
Address THAT to resolve the root problem; attacking the symptoms will...
Do you wonder why relationships fail, even good ones?
Even GREAT ones, where they partners seem to be made for each other, seem to get along so well?
There are 3 reasons that relationships fail:
Sometimes one or both partners wake up and feel like they don't know the person next to them.
They don't seem to share the same interests, they don't have much fun together, they just don't connect.
Relationships are dynamic: over time we ALL change, and if you don't make a conscious effort to stay "up to date" with each other, to keep the connection alive, you run a very real risk of growing apart.
If you find yourselves having more and more disagreements, arguments or fights (and especially if the same conflict keeps coming up) then you're entering into or already in a power struggle.
Being more interested in having things your way instead of creating agreement, or prioritizing getting your needs met, or being "right" in an...
What kind of marriage do you have?
There are three kinds of marriages:
You've got a broken marriage if there's less fun, trust and love and more fighting, frustration, upset, disappointment, resentment, etc. There's little fun, trust or passion.
Broken marriages result from hoping that your partner and your marriage will magically change, and that invariably leads to things just getting worse.
Most couples wait until their marriage is broken before seeking help, and that's unfortunate because (like a car or house that's been neglected for too long) that's the most difficult time to get things back on tack.
Your marriage is functional if there's nothing exactly "broken" but also nothing that regularly excites or inspires you. You work, do you chores, handle the kids (if you have them), maybe watch a little TV together and occasionally go out to dinner, probably to the same place over and over again.
Are you and your partner constantly fighting about something? (maybe even multiple things?)
An increase in the number of fights you've been having or a tendancy to keep having the same fight over and over again are both signs that you and your partner are caught in a power struggle.
A Power Stuggle is when you and your spouse are fighting to get (or keep) your way. It's part of human nature and a totally normal occurance in relationships.
Usually it catches us by surprise because at first we're just having fun being together in love.
Arguments start cropping up over how to spend (even whether to spend) money.
Or what to have for dinner.
Or what to watch on TV.
Instead of enjoying each other you're jockeying for control.
Marriage is a partnership and partnerships are based on trust and collaboration. When conflict starts cropping over and over it isn't long until trust and collaboration go out the window and, often, the relationship...
In the immortal words of Aretha Franklin... Respect!
To be sure, women need and deserve respect just as much as men. It's also important to understand that the ways men and women seek respect are often a bit different.
Despite men "getting more in touch with their feelings" over the past few decades, the fact remains that at a neurochemical level men are driven to achieve, to provide, to build, to fix, and to be respected for this.
When a man's woman is more successful than him and *especially* when she's self-reliant (I'm talking to you lady executives and entrepreneurs!) he can feel insecure, lost in his sense of purpose and place in the relationship.
A man, at a neurochemical level, needs to feel useful and respected.
When a man doesn't feel useful and respected by his partner he'll start acting out, usually by pulling away from the relationship and, ultimately, looking for that respect in the eyes and arms of another woman. As a general rule men don't like drama in...
A healthy sex life truly is the "life blood" of a healthy marriage.
Sex is the only thing which distinguishes marriage from a friendship or business relationship.
Sex is both a necessary ingredient to a marriage as well as a baromoter of its health, because a marriage which lacks a healthy sexual component ceases to be a marriage and, without fixing, will wither.
There are four reasons why your sex life may be suffering:
Orthopedic problems such as knee, hip, spine and neck pain can make sex very painful for one or both partners.
Alcohol, smoking and drug use can also affect the libido as well as proper functioning of the sexual organs.
Exhaustion can make it difficult to "get in the mood" so if this is happening then make a point for both of you to get more sleep or find a time and day where you're likely to have enough energy.
If you or your partner are dealing with any of these issues you've got to see a doctor (maybe more than one) and get it sorted out.
Does your relationship feel strained? Do you walk on eggshells afraid at what might trigger a fight?
Are you upset at how much your or your partner blow-up or, coverself, pull away?
You're going to learn a simple, fast technique that I guarnatee will ***10x*** the results of any communication with your partner.
"Communication" itself, that is the words we use, will not, CANNOT improve or fix your relationship on thier their own.
Have you ever asked your spouse for something only to have them not follow through?
Have you tried talking with your parter about an upset only to experience a volcanic outburt or icy silence?
We can't talk about something potentially upsetting, or make a request of someone, without first having a connection. A connection creates a platform, builds a bridge that lets your words, your requests, your emotions smoothly and safely drive over.
What would happen if you were sitting in your coffee shop and suddenly someone just...
There are 7 Key Complaints I hear over and over again in my practice. These are the complaints that if not addressed lead to frustration, fighting, pain and ultimatley break-ups and divorce.
Read below to learn what these seven key complaints are and learn some tips to avoid (or if necessary heal) them in your own relationship.
If trust is the foundation which long-term relationships are built on then communication is the glue or mortar which holds them together.
Communication complaints come in many forms ranging from "they're always looking at their phone when we're talking" to "they always interrupt me" to "they don't seem to understand me".
My wife and I have very different communication styles (like many couples) and we had to learn each other's "language" to make it through the challenges we had and get to the good place we're at today.
Without communication it's impossible to deal with, much less solve, any of the other key complaints so the health of your...
If your wife is anything like 99% (99.9% ???) of women then there are four things that she absolutely craves that she's probably not getting or, at least, not getting enough of.
Think about everything your wife does for you, for your home and (if you have them) for your kids.
Who shops? Who cooks? Who cleans?
AND... are they doing that on top of holding down a job?
I know you appreciate her but how much do you actually let her know, especially in the way that she needs to be shown?
Your woman absolutely CRAVES to be cherished.
Some things are just written into our DNA and the fact is that women need to be cherished in the same way that men need to be needed.
How do you show her that she's cherished? That you adore her? That you'd choose her all over again?
Your lady craves intimacy and I'm not talking about time between the sheets (although that certainly is part of it).
Far too many men just don't give...
Have you ever wound up fighting (whether blowing up or pulling away) when all you wanted to do was talk or have something get done?
It's certainly happened to me and, frankly, it ruined every relationship I was in and nearly ruined my marriage.
Thankfully there's solution (and it's actually pretty easy).
These four skills literally saved our marriage and if you seem to wind up in fights then you owe it to yourself, your partner and your marriage to learn these four simple tools to stop the fighting and get what you want.
Fighting is the result of feeling threatened, and we feel threatened when we feel burdoned, accused or disrespected.
These four tools that you'll learn below are easy to remember, easy to use and are the bread and butter of professional negotiators. Let's get started!
Has your partner (or you) ever said "Clean the dishes" or "take care of the yard"? Especially in a tone that *maybe* sounded more like a scolding parent than a loving spouse?