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Can hormones kill your marriage? (and I don’t just mean the “lady” ones!)

WARNING This post is controversial

 

The Problem

Do you and your partner try to be modern, equal partners but somehow feel unsatisifed or even growing apart?

Is he helping out with cleaning, cooking and the kids? Are you taking care of the cars, doing yardwork and researching investment plans?

Are you equals but sometimes snipe at each other? Is your (ahem…) sex life less than great?

Well, men and women may be equal but we’re NOT the same, and bringing back (just a little bit) of gender-stereotype roles can both make the two of you happier and and turn things up between the sheets.

Some Truth

Seriously interesting research (like, medical-grade) has been showing that men and women really are different at a psycho-genetic level in some crucial ways, namely: * how you feel fulfilled * how you react to stress * how you “get back to normal” after being...

Snoring can have a HUGE impact on your marriage even though it might seem like a “little” annoyance.

Couples have come to me literally on the verge of divorce because of problems which actually began from one partner’s snoring.

And MY own snoring caused problems in our marriage.

Truth

Constant snoring that interferes with your sleep will (let’s just be honest) make you cranky and over time can make even the most loving and patient spouse flat-out resentful.

How?

Science shows that insufficient sleep leads to irritability and poor decision-making. That irritability will make it more likely that you fight (even about stupid stuff) and that poor decision-making will make it more likely that the fights escalate (like bringing in a bunch of other upsets instead of trying to calm down and solve the original conflict).

The Problem

Any consistent wedge between the two of you is a very real danger to your love and relationship, so it really needs to be...

Have you ever had to deal with feeling overwhelmed?

Like, where you literally didn’t know what to do next? Maybe even feeling like you’d never climb out of it?

Overwhelm puts us at our worst. Our worst at work, and our worst at home with our spouse (and if present, children).

Some people wind up lashing out and others withdraw, unable to deal with anyone or anything.

How to Fix

In order to successfully and consistently get out of overwhelm you have to understand how you process the world.

Once you know how you process you can use that information to help tame and bring order to the overwhelm.

Some people are mostly visual, some auditory and other kinesthetic (NB this is a bit of a simplification but good enough for right now).

• Visual people are most attuned to sight and how things look
• Auditory people are most attuned to hearing and how things sound
• Kinesthetic people are most attuned to touch and how things feel

If You’re Visual...

Visualize everything you need...

Do you wonder why relationships fail, even good ones?

Even GREAT ones, where they partners seem to be made for each other, seem to get along so well?

There are 3 reasons that relationships fail:

1. Growing Apart

Sometimes one or both partners wake up and feel like they don't know the person next to them.

They don't seem to share the same interests, they don't have much fun together, they just don't connect.

Relationships are dynamic: over time we ALL change, and if you don't make a conscious effort to stay "up to date" with each other, to keep the connection alive, you run a very real risk of growing apart.

2. Power Struggles

If you find yourselves having more and more disagreements, arguments or fights (and especially if the same conflict keeps coming up) then you're entering into or already in a power struggle.

Being more interested in having things your way instead of creating agreement, or prioritizing getting your needs met, or being "right" in an...

A healthy sex life truly is the "life blood" of a healthy marriage.

Sex is the only thing which distinguishes marriage from a friendship or business relationship.

Sex is both a necessary ingredient to a marriage as well as a baromoter of its health, because a marriage which lacks a healthy sexual component ceases to be a marriage and, without fixing, will wither.

There are four reasons why your sex life may be suffering:

Physical Health

Orthopedic problems such as knee, hip, spine and neck pain can make sex very painful for one or both partners.

Alcohol, smoking and drug use can also affect the libido as well as proper functioning of the sexual organs.

Exhaustion can make it difficult to "get in the mood" so if this is happening then make a point for both of you to get more sleep or find a time and day where you're likely to have enough energy.

If you or your partner are dealing with any of these issues you've got to see a doctor (maybe more than one) and get it sorted out.

Let me...