The Surprising Reason Many Men Leave

In the immortal words of Aretha Franklin... Respect!

To be sure, women need and deserve respect just as much as men. It's also important to understand that the ways men and women seek respect are often a bit different.

The Problem

Despite men "getting more in touch with their feelings" over the past few decades, the fact remains that at a neurochemical level men are driven to achieve, to provide, to build, to fix, and to be respected for this.

When a man's woman is more successful than him and *especially* when she's self-reliant (I'm talking to you lady executives and entrepreneurs!) he can feel insecure, lost in his sense of purpose and place in the relationship.

A man, at a neurochemical level, needs to feel useful and respected.

When a man doesn't feel useful and respected by his partner he'll start acting out, usually by pulling away from the relationship and, ultimately, looking for that respect in the eyes and arms of another woman. As a general rule men don't like drama in their relationship and they'll sooner seek what they want from someone else instead of getting into a fight with you.

The Fix

There a few simple things you can do to help your man feel useful and respected and, by extension, enjoy a healthier and happier relationship together.

1 Need Him
Even if you can do everything by yourself it's a good idea for the sake of your relationship to let him know there are some things you actually need him for. He probably won't be very keen on cleaning the floors or windows but anything that requires strength (so he can be manly) or cleverness (especially if involves building or fixing) are great opportunities.

In my own marriage even though I'm a pretty well-rounded man I feel a deep satisfaction from being known as "Mr. Fix-it", and even reaching things on high shelves and moving heavy objects help me feel that I bring something necessary to the relationship.

2 Appreciate Him
Actually appreciate what your man does and what he can do. Let the warm feelings of gratitude and respect wash over you the same way they wash over him at the special things you do. And while you're at it appreciate the special things you're good at.

Having your man fix things, reach high and move heavy objects is no use if you resent him for it, and giving birth, nurturing a child and taking care of a home won't be seen by him the same way if you're resentful about doing them.

3 Let Him Know
In long-term relationships and especially marriage it's all too easy to take each other for granted and, frankly, get sloppy with our communication. When you're asking for his help with something use a pleasant tone of voice, and after he's done it say a nice "thanks honey". Even better, along with saying "thank-you" give him a kiss and a smile, maybe even flirt a little. Let him know very clearly that you appreciate him and are glad to have him as your man.


If your marriage (or relationship) feels like a battleground, if you're feeling disconnected, sad, unsupported, frustrated, or even trapped, there is a hope.

When you're ready to get help now, the Marriage Makeover program is designed to repair, renew and invigorate the love between you and your partner in 7 weeks or less with home-study videos, step-by-step exercises and weekly interactive calls.

If your relationship is in trouble join the next program here and start a new love together.



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