Snoring and Marriage Problems

communication fighting health time & energy Aug 15, 2017

Snoring can have a HUGE impact on your marriage even though it might seem like a “little” annoyance.

Couples have come to me literally on the verge of divorce because of problems which actually began from one partner’s snoring.

And MY own snoring caused problems in our marriage.



Constant snoring that interferes with your sleep will (let’s just be honest) make you cranky and over time can make even the most loving and patient spouse flat-out resentful.


Science shows that insufficient sleep leads to irritability and poor decision-making. That irritability will make it more likely that you fight (even about stupid stuff) and that poor decision-making will make it more likely that the fights escalate (like bringing in a bunch of other upsets instead of trying to calm down and solve the original conflict).


The Problem

Any consistent wedge between the two of you is a very real danger to your love and relationship, so it really needs to be addressed.

Crankiness and resentment are tell-tale ingredients for marriage trouble.

Unfortunatey the most common “solution” is as bad as the original problem! That is, sleeping apart can easily go from a “once in a while” thing to a more and more frequent occurance, and…

Consistently sleeping apart will take a toll on both your emotinal intimacy and your sex life.

The snoring partner is also impacted: they feel bad about causing you pain AND likely feel a sense of rejection when you want to sleep apart. (And "yes’, I’ve felt this myself as well).


The Solution

Snoring is caused by obstructed breathing which itself is caused by one or both of overweight-ness (even just 10–15 lbs) and sinus problems.

Here are some things to try:

  • Nose strips
  • Saline spray
  • Humidifier in the bedroom
  • Avoiding alcohol in the evening
  • Larger pillow
  • Allergy treatments
  • Diet/exercise for weight loss

I had to take on ALL of those before it got meaningfully better (which led to a better marriage :) The biggest impact for me came from the allergy treatments: my allergic reactions were wide- and severe-enough that everything else just made small improvements. The allergy treatments meant that my sinuses were inflammed less frequently and less severely, so the need for nose strips, saline and all that other stuff pretty much went away.

Consult with your physician and specialists (such as pulmonologists, ENTs and allergists) if simple at-home solutions aren’t helping.

Remember: snoring may seem like something silly but it can truly have damaging (even devastating) effects on your marriage so work together and work it out.

Until next time…

Life is an adventure, live in love!

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out the Thriving Marriage System today!

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