Do you wonder why relationships fail, even good ones?
Even GREAT ones, where they partners seem to be made for each other, seem to get along so well?
There are 3 reasons that relationships fail:
Sometimes one or both partners wake up and feel like they don't know the person next to them.
They don't seem to share the same interests, they don't have much fun together, they just don't connect.
Relationships are dynamic: over time we ALL change, and if you don't make a conscious effort to stay "up to date" with each other, to keep the connection alive, you run a very real risk of growing apart.
If you find yourselves having more and more disagreements, arguments or fights (and especially if the same conflict keeps coming up) then you're entering into or already in a power struggle.
Being more interested in having things your way instead of creating agreement, or prioritizing getting your needs met, or being "right" in an argument are all invitations to a power struggle.
Long-term relationships (and marriage in particular) are partnerships, the very definition of "we" over "me", while power struggles are a sign of "me" over "we".
If you've got a power struggle then your relationship is in serious danger!
If you're together long enough it's inevitable that you'll face a crisis that can threaten your relationship, and maybe even more than one.
A crisis is anything that leads to lots of stress, like a move, a job change, a financial setback, a death in the family, even bringing children into the relationship can cause a crisis (because if you have kids like me then you know that regardless of HOW much you love them children will push every single button and test the limits of your patience).
Stress makes us tend to act worse than we usually do: we act out, or pull away, or lash out, or get mean. And those kinds of ingredients lead to conflict and relationship troubles.