Four Horsemen of Divorce

Do you ever wonder about the REAL signs that a love is in trouble?
That breaking up is a real risk? Well, you may have heard about the “Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse”; I’m going to talk about the Four Horsemen of Divorce.


Distrust occurs when a partner doesn’t seem to be pulling their weight, acts erratically, and/or doesn’t keep their word. Marriage is, at heart, a partnership, and partners need to rely upon and trust each other. The underlying message is “you’re a risk”.


Deception is actively lying to your partner. For example, not wanting them to know where you are, what you’re doing and/or what you’re spending money on. Some people deceive because they’re sociopaths. Others wind up lying because of their partner’s outsided or even violent reactions. The underlying message is “you’re beneath me” or “I’m afraid of you”.


Disregard is not paying...

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Is your partner criticizing you?

Are you dealing with criticsm from your partner?

Are you hurt? Frustrated? Feel like giving up? We look to our partner for support and love, and our relationship is where we expect we can be free, vulnerable and accepted.

So, criticism can be especially damaging to a relationship. The good news is that it can get better.


Before you can improve an environment of criticism you’ve got to understand the context; that is, where the criticism may be coming from.


Is your partner going through a personal crisis like stress at work, loss of a job, death of a family member or a health issue?

Stress tends to make us be our worst selves, and we often lash out at those who are closest to us (emotionally and physically).

Personal Growth

This may sound weird but is very common.

When one partner (instead of the couple) gets involved in personal growth they often start having different expectations of what their life and relationship can be like, even what they think they should be...

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Fixing Money Fights

fighting money & chores Jun 06, 2017

Do you and your partner ever fight about money?

Because it’s such a common issue today I’m going to talk about what’s behind fights over money and HOW to resolve them.

Over 70% of divorces are the result of conflicts over money.

If you or your partner is an entrepreneur then it’s even more likely, especially if the business is not consistently profitable.

The biggest problem is that people get positional and seeing their parter as “wrong”, sometimes even as “the enemy”!

When you’re together you HAVE to act like partners and have position of “we”, NOT “me”. If you’re married then you’re legally and financially bound to each other which means that you ARE partners whether or not you feel that way.

To collaborate you have to understand WHERE your partner is coming from.

Their experience of money. Their rationale. Their triggers.

Address THAT to resolve the root problem; attacking the symptoms will...

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Why Relationships Fail! (AND how to prevent it!)

Do you wonder why relationships fail, even good ones?

Even GREAT ones, where they partners seem to be made for each other, seem to get along so well?

There are 3 reasons that relationships fail:


1. Growing Apart

Sometimes one or both partners wake up and feel like they don't know the person next to them.

They don't seem to share the same interests, they don't have much fun together, they just don't connect.

Relationships are dynamic: over time we ALL change, and if you don't make a conscious effort to stay "up to date" with each other, to keep the connection alive, you run a very real risk of growing apart.


2. Power Struggles

If you find yourselves having more and more disagreements, arguments or fights (and especially if the same conflict keeps coming up) then you're entering into or already in a power struggle.

Being more interested in having things your way instead of creating agreement, or prioritizing getting your needs met, or being "right" in an...

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How to Fix a Power Stuggle

Are you and your partner constantly fighting about something? (maybe even multiple things?)

An increase in the number of fights you've been having or a tendancy to keep having the same fight over and over again are both signs that you and your partner are caught in a power struggle.

What's a Power Struggle?

A Power Stuggle is when you and your spouse are fighting to get (or keep) your way. It's part of human nature and a totally normal occurance in relationships.

Usually it catches us by surprise because at first we're just having fun being together in love.

But then...

Arguments start cropping up over how to spend (even whether to spend) money.
Or what to have for dinner.
Or what to watch on TV.

Instead of enjoying each other you're jockeying for control.

The Problem

Marriage is a partnership and partnerships are based on trust and collaboration. When conflict starts cropping over and over it isn't long until trust and collaboration go out the window and, often, the relationship...

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7 Second Conflict Cure

Does your relationship feel strained? Do you walk on eggshells afraid at what might trigger a fight?
Are you upset at how much your or your partner blow-up or, coverself, pull away?

You're going to learn a simple, fast technique that I guarnatee will ***10x*** the results of any communication with your partner.


The Danger

"Communication" itself, that is the words we use, will not, CANNOT improve or fix your relationship on thier their own.

Have you ever asked your spouse for something only to have them not follow through?
Have you tried talking with your parter about an upset only to experience a volcanic outburt or icy silence?


The Truth

We can't talk about something potentially upsetting, or make a request of someone, without first having a connection. A connection creates a platform, builds a bridge that lets your words, your requests, your emotions smoothly and safely drive over.

What would happen if you were sitting in your coffee shop and suddenly someone just...

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7 Biggest Relationship Killers (and How to Avoid Them!)

There are 7 Key Complaints I hear over and over again in my practice. These are the complaints that if not addressed lead to frustration, fighting, pain and ultimatley break-ups and divorce.

Read below to learn what these seven key complaints are and learn some tips to avoid (or if necessary heal) them in your own relationship.


If trust is the foundation which long-term relationships are built on then communication is the glue or mortar which holds them together.

Communication complaints come in many forms ranging from "they're always looking at their phone when we're talking" to "they always interrupt me" to "they don't seem to understand me".

My wife and I have very different communication styles (like many couples) and we had to learn each other's "language" to make it through the challenges we had and get to the good place we're at today.

Without communication it's impossible to deal with, much less solve, any of the other key complaints so the health of your...

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4 Simple Skills to Stop the Fighting

Have you ever wound up fighting (whether blowing up or pulling away) when all you wanted to do was talk or have something get done?

It's certainly happened to me and, frankly, it ruined every relationship I was in and nearly ruined my marriage.

Thankfully there's solution (and it's actually pretty easy).

These four skills literally saved our marriage and if you seem to wind up in fights then you owe it to yourself, your partner and your marriage to learn these four simple tools to stop the fighting and get what you want.

Fighting is the result of feeling threatened, and we feel threatened when we feel burdoned, accused or disrespected.

These four tools that you'll learn below are easy to remember, easy to use and are the bread and butter of professional negotiators. Let's get started!



Has your partner (or you) ever said "Clean the dishes" or "take care of the yard"? Especially in a tone that *maybe* sounded more like a scolding parent than a loving spouse?


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