Improve Your Marriage
How to Makeover Your Marriage
(even if you're the only one trying!)
Read this letter all the way to the end and I’ll show you how to fix things between you and your partner.
Hi, I'm Guy Ardito, a relationship expert, husband and father.
I've been helping couples get out of pain and create thriving loves for over 20 years.
And I want to talk to you about an approach that does more than prevent divorce.
Because there are really Four Kinds of Marriages:
The Four Kinds of Marriages
Most marriage programs focus on getting couples who are broken or disapointed to be functional.
But I want more, and I think YOU want more than an “functional” marriage, right?
Don’t you want a love full of joy, partnership and passion? Don't you want to thrive?
I want to talk to you about an approach that’s designed to help you connect, enjoy each other, work together and create a deeper, fuller, stronger love.
The Bad News…
If you’re reading this page then chances are your relationship isn’t quite where you want it to be.
You might be feeling frustrated or alone. Maybe even anxious or depressed.
We almost aways get married without having seen our partner at their worst, without having to deal with a crisis together, and without the tools to successfully work through the inevitable challenges.
If you recognize any of the Four Horsemen of Divorce (Distrust, Deceit, Disinterest, Disrespect) then your relationship is in very real danger.
Most people “work” on their marriage by either forcing down their feelings, pretending they’re not hurt or upset, avoiding areas of conflict or getting stuck in a cycle of blame or fighting.
3 Sad facts
- Sadly most couples don’t recover, either living out their years in misery and disappointment or choosing divorce which, they later discover, brings it’s own painful consequences.
- When one partner is willing to consider getting help it’s very typical that their spouse doesn’t want to go.
- Even when both couples are willing to consider counseling it can be difficult because of scheduling and cost (marriage counseling is rarely covered by insurance).
The Reason Marriages Fail
Marriages fail because of one of four crises:
- Crisis of Identity: A parent dies, a career is lost, a company goes under. Even having children can result in a change and crisis of identity.
- Crisis of Money: Arguments over money or a severe financial hit create tremendous stress and are behind 70% of divorces.
- Crisis of Health: A condition threatens a partner’s lifestyle, quality of life or perhaps even their life itself. This can also trigger a Crisis of Idenity.
- Crisis of Connection: Partners drift apart by spending more time on their personal interests, even glued to their phones when they’re actually together, until they no longer have much or anything in common. They might even want things which are in conflict (city living vs the ’burbs, fancy nights out vs. quiet nights at home, nice things vs. saving lots of money, etc. You get the picture…)
I’ve Been There
My parents had an epic (and I mean really, really epic) divorce when I was 13. It was such a devastating experience that I thought about never getting married.
And even though I studied everything I could about relationships and marriage, when I found a great woman and got married it still wasn’t enough.
In our first 18 months of marriage we had to deal with:
- Almost losing our unborn son during a difficult pregnancy
- Business failure
- Ailing, chronically ill parent
- Special-needs toddler
- Getting repeatedly outbid on homes
- Major financial setback
Everything I learned was holding us together, but only by a thread.
I’d get upset, she’d withrdaw and spend more time with the baby (which would only make me more upset) and around and around we went.
We started seeing a traditional marriage counselor in our area and, while sometimes we came out feeling better, most of the time we'd wind up in bigger fights when we got home. Plus it was stressful just getting to the counselor between our work schedules and trying to find someone to watch our (infant) son.
After about eight months of this she said the dreaded words:
"I think we should talk about getting divorced."
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Being a child of divorce left a huge hole in and scar on my heart, and I was commited to doing everything I possibly could to prevent that from happening to *my* family.
So I went beyond “Mars and Venus” and “reflective communication” and dove into theories of personality, gender dynamics, crisis management and methods of influence.
Like I scientist I started applying those ideas into my marriage, carefully taking notes to see what “moved the needle”.
And I can tell you that more than just still together, we’re happier and better than we’ve ever been!
Things can get better. It’s even possible to turn your relationship into the one you dream about, even if you’re the only one working on it.
My Marriage Makeover approach is based on what I call the Three Dances of Love.
Three Dances of Love
There are three dances to love, and each must be danced well to keep a relationship healthy. If any one dance is challenged then the relationship will be off-balance, like a stool with a short leg.
The three dances are:
Dance them well and you WILL:
- Appreciate and understand each other
- Easily resolve disagreements, even long-standing ones
- Have fun together
- Work together on money, chores, kids, etc.
- Enjoy new levels of intimacy
Dancing each well and you'll have a thriving love
And just like dancing the Tango, Waltz or Salsa requires certain skills, dancing the dances of love requires learning and mastering certain skills.
Here are the 9 skills you need to dance the dances of Friendship, Partnership and Passion and transform your marriage:
- Connection: More than just making time or sharing activities, you’ve got to really touch each other’s soul
- Communication: You’ve got to understand your partner and be understood yourself, which includes things like body language, tonality and expressions.
- Psychology: Understanding yours and your partner’s Human Needs and how you each need them fulfilled
- Fighting "jiu-jitsu": Ability to turn fights into opportunity to understand each other
- Mutual Respect: You’ve got to respect each other, especially your differences, for how they make your relationship richer.
- Alignment on Money: Understand the psychology behind each of your approaches to money so that you can get on the same page.
- Crisis Management: Plan for and handle the crises which drive couples apart, including how to both forgive and support each other.
- Gender Dynamics: Maximize attraction and create intense sexual chemistry.
- Alignment on Responsibilities and Chores: Appreciate how each of you contributes to the relationship and make sure it’s equitable.
And the Marriage Makeover program will help you develop all of them!
THE MARRIAGE MAKEOVER
Reconnect, Restore and Rejoice in 8 Weeks (or less)
The Marriage Makeover is a combination of online training and LIVE, personal coaching/mediation:
- Convenient: Watch (and rewatch) the trainings from the comfort of your own home, at your own pace.
- Supportive: Four group mentoring and Q&A calls for learning and support.
- Customized: Two private, 1:1 calls with me to cover anything you want, even mediate between you and your spouse.
Here's how it works:
You’ll probably have to do a few things differently than you are right now.
And you’ll have to apply yourself a little bit every day for least eight weeks.
Each week you’ll watch videos (or if you prefer, read or listen) to learn powerful relationship skills and then (and this is the most important part) apply those skills with clear exercises.
Combined with simple daily “to-do’s” you’ll develop new skills which will soon become second-nature.
You can participate as a couple or without your partner.
Imagine how you’ll feel when you wake up and realize you haven’t been fighting, locked-out, blamed, criticized or neglected.
What will it be like when you’re… Adored? Appreciated? Supported? Desired?
You’ll learn how to understand each other in new ways so that you know what each other really needs and how to make sure they get it.
You’ll learn how to stop and de-escalate fights in a natural, loving way without any stiff “reflective listening”.
You’ll learn how to appreciate each other’s gifts so you can collaborate and work together as a team.
As you naturally connect deeper and more frequently your experience of marriage and each other will be lighter and fun.
As you trust each other more your intimacy will grow.
When you powerfully relate as feminine and masuline the attraction will multiply and your sex life will ignite.
You can have that.
And you will have that when you learn my techniques and apply them.
Here’s What You’ll Learn
Module 1: Creating an Unbreakable Bond
- How to prevent exhaustion, overwhelm, stress and/or chronic pain from destorying your relationship
- One simple and amazingly effective strategy that most couples don’t do and which will bond you emotionally like superglue
- An easy way to avoid growing apart
- Strategies to be desired and appreciated
- How to make the anger go away (whether your or theirs). Learn the hidden purpose of anger and how to calm your partner (and yourself).
Module 2: Understanding your Partner’s Needs and Secret Language
- You’ll be introduced to well-researched personality systems that will unveil the hidden meanings behind your partner’s actions
- Learn the most effective way to communicate love to your partner (you'll be surprised at how many people THINK they know this, but don't).
- Learn how to work as a team on everything from money to chores, childcare and vacations.
- Discover when and how to approach your partner for sex
- You’ll get tons of insights into yourself as well
Module 3: Getting Past Fights and Power Struggles
- How to get your partner to listen when they’re angry or shut down
- Hypnotic “trick” to de-escalate any argument
- Exact directions on how to handle you and your partner’s specific style of arguing (Do you avoid fighting, go right at each other, or do the “advance/retreat” Tango)?
- How to recognize each other’s “hot buttons”
- What to say when you’re unhappy about something without starting a fight or upset
Module 4: Aligning on Money, Chores and Children
- How “money” and “chores” wind up causing 99% of all divorces and how to make sure you steer clear of those dangers.
- How to get on the same “money” page when you disagree about how to spend it
- How to agree on chores and stop fighting about them… forever!
Module 5: Overcoming a Crisis
- How to be ready for a crisis BEFORE it happens
- How to recognize an impending crisis
- How to handle stress, depression and shaking faith
- How to turn crisis into an opportunity.
Module 6: Passion and Intimacy Now… and Forever!
- The impact of stress and despression
- How business success can kill your sex life
- The 3 mistakes most couples make in the bedroom which destroy intimacy and passion.
- The difference between how men and women become aroused (which isn’t clear to most men)
- Why not having time or energy for sex will destory your marriage.
- How a pre-planned “sex fast” can super-charge your love.
Is the Marriage Makeover Program Right For You?
This Marriage Makeover System is Right For You If You’re…
- Feeling neglected
- Tired of communication problems that never go away
- Not appreciated for everything you do
- Walking on eggshells and/or afraid of fights
- Your partner withdraws or shuts down
- Feeling disconnected
- You never fight (that's a top predictor of divorce!)
- Having trouble agreeing
- Sex life has lost its spark
- Your partner seems more interested in their work than in spending time with you
- Having trouble working as a team
- Don’t know how much more you can take
- Not having much fun together
- Unhappy in your marriage
You can participate as a couple or without your partner
This System is NOT Appropriate If You’re Dealing with…
- Physical Abuse: You need to get yourself (and any children) safe first, and seek help from your local crisis center.
- Emotional Abuse: If your partner is emotionally abusive then you need to get in-person help for both yourselves as a couple as well as your partner individually.
- Substance abuse: Mind-alterating substances interfere with the ability to see clearly, make appropriate choices and take responsibility.
Here’s What You Get:
LIFETIME ACCESS ($297 Value) You’ll have access to all training videos so you can work at your own pace or refer back whenever necessary.
IMPLEMENTATION WORKBOOKS ($97 Value) Downloadable workbooks packed full of practical exercises and step-by-step instructions for having the conversations that will permanently change your relationship dynamic and bring you closer together.
6 HOURS OF GROUP MENTORING CALLS WITH DIRECT ACCESS TO ME ($897 Value) Every other week of the program we’ll share 90 minutes together on the a live call with the other couples in the program. You’ll be able to ask me questions directly and get answer and solutions tailored to your specific relationship situation. Plus, as I mentor other couples you’ll get powerful strategies, tools and insights that you can apply to your own situation. Fun, interactive calls designed to get you unstuck fast!
PLUS… all calls are recorded in case you can’t attend one.
HOW MUCH WILL ALL THIS COST?
When you look at the cost of traditional marriage therapy (and especially the cost of a divorce or losing your business) the Marriage Makeover program is very accessible.
You’d spend more than $2,000 for a handful of sessions with a competent marriage therapist, and traditional marriage therapy has LESS than a 50% success rate.
My dream is a world of thriving marriages and free of unnecessary divorces, where everyone has access to the help they need to protect, nurture and grow the most important relationship of their lives.
Because I’ve been through my parent’s scathing divorce. Because I faced divorce in my own marriage.
And that’s why I’m offering this Coaching Program, with a full money-back guarantee, for less than the price of one month of therapy.
Investment just… $495 (or 3 monthly payments of $197)
100% Money-Back Guarantee!
You ALSO have the comfort of knowing that your satsifcation is backed with a 100% money-back guarantee. If you participate and complete the program and are not 100% satisified, just let me know within seven days of the final coaching call and I’ll happily refund all your money.
I'm so dedicated to helping you fix your relationship, that I'm also throwing in a couple of SUPER bonuses, which are each worth more than the total program.
Your Bonuses (when you join today):
- BONUS - TWO PRIVATE CALLS WITH ME ($500 Value) That’s right, you get TWO 50-minute private calls (that means just you or you and your partner) to directly get my personal assistance with your situation.
- FAST ACTION BONUS - YOUR PARTNER ATTENDS FREE ($1297 Value)
If you’re one of the first 10 people to register for the program, your partner can attend with you for free. That’s TWO seats for the price of one. NOTE: a partner is someone you’re in a committed romantic relationship with. Once you’ve enrolled we’ll send you instructions explaining how to enroll your partner.
That’s a total value of $3282
My vision is a world of thriving marriages, where couples have the tools they need to understand each other, work together, and create magnificent loves.
In fact, I’m comitted to saving 1 million marriages.
There are times when two people shouldn’t be together. If you’re dealing with physical abuse, emotional abuse, violence and/or long-term substance abuse then it’s important that you put your safety (as well as that of any children) above the marriage and contact your local crisis management center.
Your Questions Answered!
Q. Can this really work if it’s not face-to-face?
Yes! You might not realize that most of couples counseling is actually teaching - teaching couples how to communicate, understand each other, avoid conflict and work together.
You don’t want to become dependent on your therapist because they won’t be there in your living room, kitchen or bedroom to mediate!
Because you have access to the training wherever you are and whenever you want you can review concepts and strategies as many times as you like without taking up limited session time.
And because your package includes 1:1 time with me you get the best of worlds!
Q. Do you have a 100% money back guarantee?
If you complete the program as designed and aren’t 100% satisfied, just send me an email within one week of completing it and I’ll refund your registration in full.
All I ask is that you participate: watch the videos, do the exercises, hop on the calls and get coaching so I can do everything in my power to help you get your marriage on the right track.
Q. Will the program work if my partner isn’t doing it with me?
How? Well, the simple answer is that by consistently doing some things differently you’ll change the dynamic between you and your partner.
Think of it this way: there’s probably something you know you can do that will make your spouse angry or hurt, right? Well, when you learn your spouse’s true needs and psychology you’ll be able to “push the buttons” that make them loving, supportive and grateful to be with you.
Q. Can my spouse participate?
Yes! (IF you're one of the first 24 people to register this month, as per the "fast action" bonus :)
Q. How long do I have access to the training materials?
If anything happens to my servers I’ll let you know how to download any materials to your own computer.
And of course during the program you can download the workbooks, exercises and transcripts.
Q. What if I can’t attend the mentoring calls? Are they recorded?
That’s OK. Mentorship calls are recorded and posted in your private membership area.
If you’re unable to make a call just email me your question and I’ll make sure to answer it.
You can also download the recordings to your phone so that you can listen listen to them on the go, when you’re offline or even in bed!
Q. When do the mentoring calls happen?
The Relationship Mentoring calls alternate between 12 PM and 4 PM Eastern Standard Time and between Tuesday and Wednesday to help accomodate you no matter your time zone or schedule.
Q. When do the 1:1 calls happen?
Your 1:1 calls are scheduled in advanced for a day and time that works for both of us. My normal office hours (Eastern Standard Time) are 8 am to 4 pm Tuesday through Friday, and if necessary I can accomodate calls up to 9 pm on weekendays and before 3 PM on Saturday.
Q. How much time will I need for the program each week?
Each week’s lessons are about 30 minutes; some a bit more and some a bit less. You can watch the videos or listen the audio. You can even do this during your commute so long as you can clearly hear what I’m saying and aren’t distracted.
The week’s assignments usually take about 30 minutes or less (some couples get them done in just 10 minutes and some couples spend more time depending on their progress).
Q. Do we get hard-copy workbooks?
The Workbooks are PDF files that you can access anywhere. I recommend that you download and print them out to take notes and journal your thoughts and ideas.
Q. Why should I believe this program will help me fix my relationship?
Has the free training I gave you sparked any insights / made a difference?
The Marriage Makeover system is based on decades of research into both what destroys love as well as what makes love thrive and last.
You’ll get everything you need: education, support, insight, and 1:1 access to me for help with your specific situation and concerns.
You also have my 100% money-back guarantee; I’m that confident in this system.
Now, if you’re dealing with physical abuse, violence or substance abuse then this is NOT an appropriate system and I recommend you immediately reach out to your local crisis management center.
Over the past 20 years I’ve helped hundreds of couples across the globe. If you’re willing to apply yourself I’m committed to helping you.
If you’ve read this far…
Guy Ardito MS
Guy is a strategist, mediator, trainer and author specializing in relationships and communication. He helps smart, successful men and women find love and repair their relationships. Guy is a Certified Master Coach and proud member of the Forbes Coaches Council. Twenty years of coaching experience has focused on relationships and communication and includes certification in couple's work, Human Needs Psychology and NLP from luminaries such as Dr. Cloe Madanes, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Anthony Robbins, Doug O'Brien, Landmark Education and the New York Center for NLP.