The Danger of "Tomorrow", "Next Week", etc.
What are you putting off?
What maybe are you holding onto that maybe needs to be let go?
I’m bring this up because all we have is NOW, and this was really driven home for me about a month ago when I got a call that my dad had fallen and broken his hip.
We hadn’t seen each other for a while (not estranged but not on the best of terms), and this gave me a little “kick in the pants” to make a point and go visit him in the next week or so.
That chance never came.
The very next day I got a call that he’d died.
I could have gone out to see him immediately; it would have been inconvenient and require some reshuffling of my schedule but it would have been possible. But I didn’t because it didn’t seem like an emergency.
I thought I had plenty of time.
I’m not saying I was wrong for not going out immediately, only that I thought there’d be more time and sometimes there just isn’t.
Realistically my father shouldn’t have died the next day but he did. There are lots of things that I would have liked to talk with him about, things that I’d like to get closure on, but didn’t and now never will get the chance to.
So what maybe should you be doing now that you’ve been putting off to the future? Maybe next week? Or next month? Or in a few months?
Where are you in your relationship that maybe isn’t as great as it could be?
What conversation could you (or maybe should you) be having?
What could you let go of that you’re holding on to? Maybe some old hurt that’s keep you from full experiencing love with your partner? Or a family member, or a friend for that matter? Or even your business?
Or yourself? What could you be doing for yourself that you keep pushing off to a future that may or may not come?
Is your relationship great or not-so-great? And how do you know? A lot of times my clients come to me and think their relationship is at least safe and have no idea their partners have been thinking about divorce, or even talking with a divorce lawyer, or sometimes having an affair.
Why? Because they’re so wrapped up in their own head and “stuff” that they’re not looking at things from their partner’s perspective. And that’s so crucial.
You don’t want to wake up one day and find out that your relationship is gone. Or (like myself) that your parent is gone. Then it might be too late to fix it, too late to make it right.
My dad’s death is a great example because sometime we need that kick in the pants, that push to take action because so often we tell ourselves something like “I’m too tired”, “I’ve got too much to do”, or “I’ll teach them a lesson”, and we keep pushing things out to the future.
Life is a game of resource management and time is one of those resources. We can only do so much. What I implore you to do is know what’s important to you, know your values.
We get caught up in regret when we don’t live according to our values and lose something important to us.
So what are your values? Honesty? Integrity? Adventure? Altruism? Humility? Authenticity? Forgiveness? Love?
When you don’t know what your values are you can’t be sure and live your life according to them.
And when you’re not living according to your values sooner or later you veer off-course and get a really nasty wake-up, a really nasty bucket of cold water at some point.
And I don’t want that to happen to you.
So** I ask again**: where are you? Where are you in your life? Where are you in your business or career? Where are you in your relationship or love? And if you think you’re doing well then are you sure that’s the case? How do you know that?
I help people in many different ways but personally I care most about relationships, whether home life, family, spouse or business for me it all comes down to relationship.
Because I know that and because I live my life accordingly I’m OK. I’m disappointed I didn’t get to see my dad before he passed but I know I did what I could.
So… are you? Ask yourself “do I know my values?” “Am I living according to them?” “Is there something I’m holding onto that I should let go of?” “Is there something I’ve putting off that I should handle?”
Make that change today! Make that change now if you can! And if you just can’t right now then do it tomorrow.
Even if you can’t change 180 degrees around then go for a 90 degree shift. If that’s too hard then do 45. Or 10 degrees, or even 5 degrees. As much as you can. Even a ONE DEGREE change can set you, your life, your love on a different and better path.
Life is too short. One day we’ll be out of time, and we don’t want to have any regrets.
Take care of yourself, take care of your relationship, and (as always)...
Live in love!
Guy Ardito MS CMC
Guy is a strategist, mediator, trainer, coach and author specializing in relationships, influence and communication.
He helps smart, successful men and women both find love and repair their relationships.
Guy is a Certified Master Coach and proud member of the Forbes Coaches Council.
Twenty years of coaching experience has focused on relationships and communication and includes certification in couple's work, Human Needs Psychology and NLP from luminaries such as Dr. Cloe Madanes, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Anthony Robbins, Doug O'Brien, Landmark Education and the New York Center for NLP.